Having a second or third child, while often being a source of great pride for couples, can also bring great sorrow to many of them. Often, the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages when it comes to having children.
One of the biggest disadvantages is the financial aspect of raising a child. While it’s true that having children brings with it financial freedom, many families struggle to keep up with expenses when there are only two working parents.
The added stress of raising a child can cause a great deal of frustration and stress for both parents. A third or fourth child decreases the marital relationship even further, as most spouses now feel like they must work twice as hard just to maintain the lifestyle that they have been living. Having a second kid usually brings with it an increased level of stress. Maybe, despite any increases in marital satisfaction, having another kid actually adds to the stress of your marriage. What does having another kid do to your marriage if your primary motivation is to have your spouse happy in the relationship?
Raising a child becomes twice as much work for a parent that has already raised their own children. It takes more time, more effort, and more patience. As well, because children grow up faster than parents do, the younger siblings usually feel the need to assert themselves more. This sometimes leads to conflict between siblings that could be easily avoided by spending quality time with each other during the early years of a child’s development. In the case of older siblings, this can lead to resentment towards their older sibling.
Another thing to consider is how kids handle conflict. Older children often feel that their needs are not being met and resent older siblings for taking center stage in their lives. While it’s hard to accept this, it’s a fact of life that siblings sometimes have different opinions about which parent they should live with. If one sibling wants to live with mom and dad, while the other wants to live with their siblings, this can create tension between the parents. This may lead to arguments, which may eventually end in a divorce.
Having a child by marriage also increases the level of stress that parents experience. Kids grow up faster, and many times act out when they are frustrated or tired. This is nothing new. However, parents need to remember that most of these cases are rooted in jealousy.
One thing to consider is that children from marriages that include two parents with young children experience a greater sense of identity. They feel more like a part of a family and have a sense of who they are. This is something to take into account when rearing your own children. Having a child who is not involved in your marriage or a family dynamic doesn’t mean that you don’t have to provide for them in some way. Raising a child by yourself will likely create a greater financial strain on you than raising a child alongside their other parent, even if it means a longer period of single parenting!
In a recent study looked at two children who were married with a father and a mother. The study looked at whether or not the children were happy with their situation. The results indicated that the children who were happy with their situation had lower levels of stress. Interestingly, the happiness was not influenced by the age of the children, but by the age of their mothers!
Overall, having a child affects your marriage in a variety of ways. On the one hand, you may be less satisfied with your current state of affairs. On the other hand, you may also be happier.